Welcome back beautiful people to RockYourLuv.com; where self-love is the priority and no topics are off-limits. This week is very special for me. As you may can tell from the title I will not be writing this article alone. From Cleveland, Ohio I have super producer/writer/blogger Jarrett Mines from Edukated Dropout. Jarrett accolades include producing for rapper Machine Gun Kelly on his former hit single “Wild Boy” which made its debut in 2012. When you are finished reading this article please click his link and indulge in his blog. There he talks about love from the perspective of a man and his untold stories from his younger life.
In a generation where most millennials are pursuing careers, traveling the world, and becoming their own bosses; dating increasingly feels impossible. Deal Breakers are clear factors that lead to crucial decisions to depart yourself from a relationship.
Here are ten deal breakers from each perspective:
Deal Breakers from His ♂ Perspective
The Social Media Addict
This woman spends more time with her phone in her hand than she does spending time with me. Ladies, I want to get to know you more but its hard to do that when your scrolling down your social media timelines every two minutes.
Mrs. Too INDEPENDENT
There is nothing worst than a woman who never allows you to be a man. I call this woman “Mrs. I can do it myself.” I think independence has a thin line on it. It’s nothing wrong with having your own and having a successful career. Keep in mind that men like to feel included too. It’s in our nature to protect and provide but once you take that from us; we are gone! Let a man be a man ladies!
Don’t Be Closed Minded
I am a very spontaneous guy. I like women who are open to try new adventures that aren’t limited to just a dinner and a movie. There is no definite for me. New experiences can take us to a whole new level. So be open to trying some different at least once.
I Don’t Date Your Friends
Ladies, I don’t mind kicking it with your friends on occasion. That’s fine. Keep in mind, that us men don’t always want to be around your friends. Understand that some of us men enjoy the quality time without your best friend or cousin around. To my amazing women out there please be aware that your girlfriends don’t always need to know all our problems; your girlfriends don’t even need to know all the great things in our relationship. Allow for the relationship we have to be between us without a nosy listening ear or bias opinion. Keep us between us.
The “Club” Head
Now this one as a man you have to take on the chin. You can’t meet a woman out at a club then expect her not to go out. My problem comes in where she goes out every weekend. Hmm! Not working for me. It’s just too much. My position as a man is to never come off controlling but if I’m being honest, a woman who is constantly in the club is a huge turn off. I do understand that some women may have to be in those environments because of work which is fine. I am talking more about the women who are casually turning up when work hours are over. Big no for me!
For me, I want to see you take charge at times. Set up some dates and make plans for us. It doesn’t have to be every single time but occasionally show some effort. Don’t be afraid to be the aggressor sometimes.
Have Some Drive
Walk out the club, pick up a book, and find a new hobby. Whatever you decide to do make sure your life is constantly filled with purpose and meaning. Some women know every episode of Love and Hip-Hop and all the gossip on the ShadeRoom but what about you. Men love seeing women strive to be something more than what they are. Women who work hard at achieving goals and loving themselves. No matter how small or how big it is do something great with your life. For me this may be deal breaker number 1.
I Am Not Your Ex
Repeat after me! I am not your ex!! We are not the same! I don’t want to know about him, nor do I want to be compared to him. If that’s the case, GO BACK TO HIM!
I Am Not Your Friends Significant Other
Once again I don’t want to be compared or told about your friends “bae.” Seriously, comparison is the thief of joy. That goes for all aspects of life. Nothing can ruin things more than me doing something for you and then you bring up what your friends man has done for her. Adiós!
Let Me Know You Feel
Letting a man know how you feel is vital. We as men cannot read minds. If I am doing something wrong let me know. By opening up to us men we can learn how to handle things differently with you. The only way we can achieve this is by knowing how you feel. So don’t be afraid to communicate to us on what you may be feeling. Keeping us men involved in your feelings can be a great way to build trust and communication. Being consistent with us about your feelings can eventually lead to great friendship and a sturdy foundation to an amazing relationship.
Deal Breakers From Her ♀ Perspective
The Netflix and Chill Guy
This guy wants you do everything but watch Netflix. His dates with you consist of hanging out in his bedroom or living room. How annoying is it to like someone who only wants to sleep with you? Dating is more than just sleeping around. Ladies when men ask you come over to “Netflix and Chill” have your tennis-shoes laced up and run far away to never, never-land!
This guy is great at talking about how much he likes you and enjoys your company. The problem with this guy is that he talks a ton, with little to no action to back up his false promises. Fellas I understand you like me but it doesn’t mean much if your actions don’t follow-up behind them. It makes women feel confused about where she stands with you when you say one thing then do another.
The Single Guy In a Relationship
This guy acts like he is single but in all actuality is in a “committed” relationship. He will court you; take you out on dinners while holding out important information such as “I am married” or “I have a girlfriend.” Everyone deserves honesty and everyone deserves the right to choose. So when you involve an innocent person in on all your messiness it’s automatic deal breaker for me.
The Baby Mama Drama Guy
This guy is either in a on-again, off-again relationship with his child’s mother or he never gets along with the mother of his child. This can pose a strain in his current relationship with you because it’s bigger than just you.
This guy is very content with having no car, no money, or anything that may claim “independence.” I’m not saying you must have it all. I am saying you that you must be at least in the process to want something to call your own. Fellas don’t be content with riding your girls car. Be self-reliant. It’s sexy.
The Needy Guy
I could literally scream on this one. I don’t mind a call or even a check-in here in there. I don’t even mind unexpected Face Times on occasion. But when a guy constantly is calling and texting me without even letting me reply to the first text or call it can get very aggravating and its a huge turn off for me. This guy usually gets the boot before we even go on the actual date.
There is nothing more annoying than a man who can’t take ownership in his downfalls. Fellas I am aware that nobody is perfect; me included. If you know you are not ready for relationship, don’t ask me to be in one than neglect me due to your insecurities. Keep in mind that us women are born lovers and can get bruised easily. Be accountable for your actions and don’t run from a heart you allowed to fall for you. Don’t play with the emotions of good women.
The Inconsistent Guy
Everything about this guy is great except for one thing in particular. His inconsistent behavior is like a leech and you can almost find yourself holding onto this loser.
This guy loves to crown you with compliments which is all fine and great. The concern is when this guy is constantly making inappropriate sexual passes as if you are supposed to drop your panties whenever he says so.
The “I’m Busy” Guy
To those guys who claim that they are busy with their cellphones constantly dangling in their hands 24/7. I have a message for you. You suck!
Those are just a few deal breakers from the perspective of a man and a woman. What are yours? Also, a very special shout out to the beautiful NosyJoise at Mind Jo Business who set up this awesome collaboration between Jarrett and I. Please Check out her content. Josie is an amazing blogger who talks about everything; Self-Love, Natural Hair, and Black Empowerment. Don’t forget to check Jarrett Mines blog as well at Edukated Dropout. Thank you beautiful people for spending time with us all. I will see you here next Tuesday on RockYourLuv.com; where self-love is the priority and no topics are off-limits. Smooches. xo